2 July 2015,
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Self-Awareness isn’t only just betting on your strengths, it’s accepting all your shortcomings.

~ Gary Vaynerchuk ~


In today’s interconnected world, relationships are more important than ever. You hear that so much nowadays that it’s almost become a cliché.  That doesn’t make it any less accurate.

Relationships support you. They help mold your career and your life. The best ones make your life rich, fulfilling, and enjoyable.

What’s the Key to Building Quality Relationships?

If your relationships are less than stellar in one or more areas of your life, maybe it’s time to step back and reflect on where the gap is. You are the common denominator, so what can you do differently to improve the quality of your relationships?

The key to building quality relationships is to become self-aware. Self-awareness is having the ability to objectively and non-judgmentally observe your habitual way of being, thinking, and behaving.

Non-judgmental observation gives you the ability to stop reacting automatically to your circumstances. Instead, you gain the freedom to choose new ways of being, thinking, or behaving that better serve your relationships.

Whether you are talking about relationships with friends, children, co-workers, parents, spouse or significant other, the more self-awareness you have, the richer and deeper your relationships become.

The Gift of Self-Awareness

Ability to Accept Responsibility

Self-aware people accept responsibility for how their relationships go. You cannot be a victim in a relationship where you take full responsibility for your actions and outcomes.

Notice I did not say for everyone’s actions, just your own. This is where people sometimes get hung up when it comes to taking responsibility.

When you take responsibility, people feel safe around you. You become transparent and trustworthy. You react less and self-correct easily.

You take a proactive role in identifying differences and you look for solutions and areas of compromise. You give up the need to attack others or make them wrong.

Ability to Build Stronger Teams and Partnerships

Self-awareness includes the ability to accept both your strengths and weaknesses. That allows you to consciously partner and team with people who complement you.

For example, if you’re a big picture thinker who gets frustrated with detail, you might benefit from partnering with someone who likes detail and structure. You can co-create a working relationship that suits both of you.

A former client faced just such a dilemma. She loves being with people and gets her energy from lots of interaction.

She also wanted organization in her office but hated doing it. She eventually hired an assistant to come in a couple of times a week to design a filing system, clear the clutter, and help her manage her schedule.

My client became more productive in her business when she stopped worrying about doing what she wasn’t good at doing. Her assistant found fulfillment knowing her contribution mattered and was valued by my client. They developed a powerful and productive working relationship.

Ability to Effectively Communicate

Self-awareness allows you to become relaxed in your roles. You are able to take attention off yourself and focus on others. You learn to listen and communicate such that others feel heard, appreciated, and acknowledged.

Your communication becomes authentic, transparent, and patient. Everyone benefits. You stay in the moment. This allows your communication to flow and become a dance of co-creation..

Increased Ability to Identify and Go After What You Want

Self-awareness is a skill many clients have to develop as they design and build their Sexy Second Act careers. It helps them recognize what they want and cultivate the courage to go after it.

They learn to ask for assistance and support without beating around the bush, becoming demanding, overbearing, or playing a passive/aggressive role. They begin trusting their inner guidance systems to make decisions rather than depending upon the approval of others.

Increasing your self-awareness does require you to confront and let go of who you think you are to become who you are meant to be. That can be a scary and sometimes painful proposition. But if you are willing to do the work, you will be rewarded with a wonderful sense of power, peace, freedom, joy, and belonging.


Do you want to design powerful relationships and alliances to help you create a career or life you love? A Personal Insights Profile is a great beginning! Let’s schedule your complimentary get acquainted coaching session and explore possibilities!

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